the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
