And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
