When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize