I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
