When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
