Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
