Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
