you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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