big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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