You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
