i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
