Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
