it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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