Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
