I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
