I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
