Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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