She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
