Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I will be naked everywhere
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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