How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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