it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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