it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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