I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
