i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
