i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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