One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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