nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
