it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
