No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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