it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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