He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
