no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize