If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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