Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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