i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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