Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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