I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
