And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize