how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
