My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
