Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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