Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
