i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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