The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
