so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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