I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Couch. On fire.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
