Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize