the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
operation have a gay friend backfired
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Randomize
