i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
time to smoke my breakfast
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
