he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize