Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
