yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
