...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
