I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
