yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
