So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
