"it" just moved
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
