if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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