She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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