I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
