you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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