Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
