That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
its not stalking. its research.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
