Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
