She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
