He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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