dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
