No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
