Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
