Yo dont text me then not text me
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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